Closer To Clarity

101 - Two Year Anniversary slash Best Of

2012-02-16T10:26:01Z

In the first half of the episode Quentin talks about his thoughts on the podcast and where it might go, plus talks a little about his obsessive compulsive disorder and why he's been depressed recently and then repeatedly calls Chris Brown a shit head, which he is, he's a dumb fucking shit head.

In the second half some of Quentin favorite moments of the show are played, such as the very first Tweets of the Seven Day Period segment, part of an interview with Nathan, tattoos, sex toys, Chris driving with his mother, and girls with low self esteem.

100 - The 100th Episode

2012-02-09T21:28:04Z

For the 100th show, Chris, Quentin, and special listener guest friend David get some clarity on Closer to Clarity. They reflect on past shows, Chris plays his highlight reel, and they get classic with some poop talk. Also, Chris has a special announcement about his future on the show and he and Quentin's next endeavor.

You can find more Chris and Quentin on their college radio show Technical Difficulties, now on iTunes.

Special thanks to frequent listener and cute person Jenna, AKA Hermit Girl.

A big thanks to anyone who's ever listened at all. We know it wasn't always easy.

Don't kill yourselves.

Chris, Tegan, Quentin, and Sara (not in that order)

99 - This Is Spilt Milk

2012-02-02T08:22:11Z

Chris and Quentin lose it in Chris's (most likely) penultimate episode. There are characters! (bad ones) and singing! (horribly) and talk of atheists worship temples (they have those now?) and talk of religion and fat people, in the same God damn topic! And find out if Barack Obama is hilarious. All this and more on The Todd Glass Podcast!!!!! wait, no. this is the closer to clarity podcast. Why are you here? Go listen to The Todd Glass Podcast. Now.

In a perfect world Chris would be the guy in the middle, Quentin would be on the left, and the guy on the right would be our butler. I don't want to disappoint you folks, but this is not a perfect world.

98 - The "S" Word

2012-01-27T00:27:44Z

Chris and Quentin talk about a tense moment they had on the bus before getting into listener comments and news about Republicans, cougars, and some paralyzed jerk. Also, Chris finally says the "S" word (not "the 'S' word" but the "S" word).

Not talked about on the show but pleasant to look at anyway.

97 - We Suck

2012-01-20T04:46:54Z

Chris and Quentin talk about cussing on Modern Family and the quality of singer Lana Del Rey's SNL performance. Also: football, Todd Glass, and Chris's newfound self loathing.

Lana Del Rey pictured here breathing through
her mouth.

96 - A Totally Inoffensive Episode

2012-01-13T04:43:02Z

This episode includes but is not limited to discussions on:

Listener comments about sexism and other "-isms" like racism and homophobia.

The sexist, homophobic, and comedy-ist show Work It.

TotSDP

Comedian Colin Kane

Chris's controversial opinion on colors.

A mention of Quentin's first time co-hosting Chris's radio show Technical Difficulties.

Male model Colin Kane

95 - My Apologies

2012-01-05T18:32:05Z

Quentin goes solo to talk about New Years, Kreayshawn, New Year resolutions, his excuse for not shopping at mom and pop shops, writing at libraries, much more, and makes some apologies.

94 - I'm Gay, Get Me Out of Here!

2011-12-30T00:36:05Z

Christmas, Sherlock Holmes, and listener comments. Also, Chris and Quentin debate two of the most important topics of our time: God and offensive jokes.

The Eye of God. Clearly a woman's eye.

93 - A Series of Uncomfortable Disagreements

2011-12-22T17:49:59Z

Quentin's love life is discussed along with the topic of attractive female comedians. Also notice that Quentin literally says about 25 things in a row that Chris totally disagrees with and/or does not understand. It makes for an episode that is so stilted, it might actually be interesting.

Tina Fey seen here writing another episode of

30 Rock in the totally normal way she always does.

92 - Old Video Games and Old People

2011-12-15T05:59:41Z

After talking about a recent Parks and Recreation episode, Chris and Quentin get some actual clarity about the show Misfits. Then Quentin talks about a new girl he met on okcupid.com before the conversation devolves into talk about the lives of old people. To close, Quentin gives his list of top 10 childhood video games and is surpised to find that Chris had not played a certain classic Mario game.

Kings of the Beach on NES. Somehow less sexy than

Dead or Alive Extreme Beach Volleyball.

91 - He's My All Star

2011-12-09T09:46:03Z

Chris and Quentin discuss kindness vs. rudeness, Quentin's love life, what it means to be told you're "silly," and why music is so lovable and hateable at the same time. Plus, talk of the latest episode of Chris's radio show over at tdshow.wordpress.com.

90 - Muppets and Mortality

2011-12-03T02:19:36Z

The guys contemplate death and nothingness before Quentin gets into his review of the new muppets movie. Also, Immortals, The Nerdist Way book, Tweets of the Seven Day Period (TotSDP), and Patrice O'Neal is not a terrible person.

"When you die, do you become closer to god... Because you

no longer exist?"

89 - Thanksgiving You for Listening

2011-11-24T16:00:00Z

The guys talk about their Thanksgiving rituals, including a rundown of all the foodly products they eat. Then they debate the merits of PETA's attack on Super Mario and follow that up with news stories on tampons, gay penguins, fat people, and Scarlett Johansson.

Starting to think PETA is a front for SEGA.

88 - Occupy okcupid

2011-11-18T05:54:35Z

Chris and Quentin finally give their highly unnecesary opinions on the occupy protests and Quentin updates us on his search for love on okcupid.com. Then, Chris gives his first ever Tweets of the 7 Day Period and the guys go over some unfortunate news about NBC's Community.

We're honestly not worthy. In fact, we should probably thank her for
thanking us.

87 - Totally Lame Podcast

2011-11-11T22:35:39Z

In this lame episode, find out what chalk tastes like and what Quentin thinks of cranberry sauce. Also, the guys talk about Tweets of the 7 Day Period and about the great Totally Laime Podcast.

It's either cranberry sauce or just
a cranberry colored slinky.

86 - Chipmunks Are Hot

2011-11-04T07:45:04Z

Quentin goes back and forth on Chris's radio Co-host Beb.
Sandwiches.
More Fall TV shows.
More Fall TV girls.
Chris's Book Nook.
Pedophilia.
Listener comments.
Listen closely to find out why man's turd is a great condiment.

One of the comments commented on in this episode.

85 - Taking it to Washington

2011-10-28T04:02:20Z

The guys cover no news stories and instead talk about Chris's new radio troubles, porn person Britney Beth, and Ron Paul's presidential run. Plus, fall TV talk near the end of the show. This is a boring description but it's actually not a half bad episode.

Herman Cain is not pleased about his
mention in this podcast.

84 - Big Balls, LOL

2011-10-21T04:22:13Z

Chris introduces his new book club (which is totally different from Chris's bookcorner). Then Quentin goes over his Tweets of the 7 Day Period before the guys get into some fun news involving a scandalous Family Feud question and a guy with some unfortunately-sized testicles.

"Oh man, my balls are still really big."

83 - My Winnie Cooper

2011-10-14T08:49:11Z

Quentin goes to another strip club, Chris laments his empty childhood, and the news tells us something confusing and pointless about Carnie Wilson

Stories covered:

Robber

Wilson sisters porno

Sex and amnesia

Young nose job

Miley Cyrus's name

Emma Stone: the one popular young starlet who Chris won't sign off on.

82 - The N Word Chills

2011-10-07T05:40:21Z

Chris and Quentin cover a lot of ground, including details on Chris's experience hosting his first college radio show called Technical Difficulties. Beyond that, find out about The View's views on the N word, the latest news from the world of lettuce, and why Quentin doesn't like Steve Jobs even though he's dead.
Also:

Arrested Development coming back

Rick Perry controversy

Boy stops robbery

Steve Jobs' patents

Tech Diff page

"Hey Rob Corddry!"

"Hey Paul Scheer..."

A Little Closer To Clarity 25 - Quietly Horrible Weekend and Pornstar Lovin'

2011-10-05T01:07:55Z

Quentin goes solo to discuss his quietly horrible weekend which includes a missed phone call, watching way too many video game videos, and the Seattle Seahawks lost, plus Quentin applies for a job he doesn't get, and he may or may not have an affinity for adorable pornstars...the female ones.

Britney Beth

I don't care how many dicks she's about to suck, she's fucking adorable.

Ohbijou song
Weatherbox song

81 - Cuntel Exercises

2011-09-30T05:09:02Z

Quentin tries stand up for the second time ever and Chris continues to try going to college. Also, Quentin's favorite Tweets From the Seven Day Period.

Demetri Martin on WhoSay

80 - OkStupid

2011-09-23T02:25:32Z

Chris and Quentin break down their experiences with the dating site okcupid. They talk about how some of the site's questions are stupid and Chris illustrates why it may or may not be a good idea to make a dating profile in the middle of a relationship.

That's right ladies, he's single.

A Little Closer To Clarity 24 - Seattle Yo and Yo

2011-09-20T11:50:39Z

Quentin talks about staying in Seattle with his aunt, why soda pop is bad, health food, thrift stores, Ashton Kutcher's first appearance on Two and a Half Men (He doesn't really talk about that) and a thrilling story of whether or not he shits his pants in a car (his pants stay unshit, and instead of thrilling insert boring).

79 - The Imparter

2011-09-11T20:00:00Z

Chris proves why he's the best imparter in all of the imparting business by imparting multiple stories, including information on his recent experiences getting into college radio. After that, even more info is imparted when the guys get to the news on Dominos in space, BttF shoes, and Reese Witherspoon.

This fall on Fox: THE FINDER.
He's good at finding things. . . that's the show.

78 - Tolkien Black Guy

2011-09-10T21:50:28Z

Chris and Quentin go over some news and Twitter trends before giving out their wise advice to all the kids out there starting school. Also, they give their surprising takes on boobs, Kim Kardashian news, and transgendered kids.

Facebook case

Twitter trends

Pictures like these still conjure up feelings of a
black cloud of anudulterated dread and dispair in
anticipation of the first day of school. That, and I
can't wait to see my fwiends!

77 - Maggie Goes on a Diet

2011-09-02T00:06:27Z

The guys talk about why Jobs loss has gone up, why there is a children's book for dieting, and why Jim Carrey is creepy toward Emma Stone. Also, tune in for a new game called Dick or Dickens.

The sequel will be called "Maggie Fixes Her
Retarded Haircut."

A Little Closer To Clarity 23 - No Intro, No Outro. Take Three.

2011-08-27T11:33:51Z

Quentin goes solo to talk about things I can't remember. Possibly gardens.

76 - Words, Names, and Words That Are Names

2011-08-18T21:10:28Z

After breaking down Quentin's encounter with Chris's doppelgänger, the two go over a very small portion of all the news that has occured since the last podcast. Stories include Adam Carolla's offensive comments, how your TV is murdering you, and what needless new words Oxford is adding to the dictionary in a desperate attempt to remain relevant. Also:

Rich libertarians would rather live in untested and secluded fake island.

Young people would rather have fake conversations than engage in actual human interactions.

Chris's doppelgänger. It's blurry because it's Chris crossing over
from an alternate reality. That, or Quentin's phone sucks.

A Little Closer To Clairty 22 - Example Of Melodrama (This Was Recorded Three Weeks Ago)

2011-08-17T22:44:55Z

Quentin bitches and moans.

Caution: not in a sexy way.

75 - Patrice O'Neal is a Terrible Person

2011-08-12T02:44:21Z

Chris and Quentin go over their latest listener comment before getting into the news. The two get clarity about intelligence as well as a few TV shows such as Your Enthusiasm and Lopez Tonight. Also, Quentin is perturbed about people not hating on the writers of Rebecca Black's "Friday" and Chris pretends to be perturbed as well. In addition, stay tuned for the return of a classic CTC segment near the end of the show.

Again, thank you to Jen for her comment on episode 74. Much appreciated.

Lopez Tonight cancelled.

Genes linked to intelligence.

Surprisingly, two of these people wrote "Friday"
and the little girl is not one of them.

A Little Closer To Clarity 21 - And A Happy New Year!

2011-08-10T18:30:18Z

Quentin goes solo to discuss why cats are assholes, Comets only destroying Texas or him, blood flowing to certain areas, Eva, and much more (minus the much).

Look at that skinny dude holding the completely normal sized kitty.

74 - We're All Our Own Normal

2011-08-05T03:20:05Z

Chris and Quentin get clarity on the Battleship movie, Wiggers, and D.B. Cooper. Also listen for Taylor Lautner talk, thoughts on olives, and a special sneeze by Chris.

Murderer guy

Wigger lawsuit

D.B. Cooper suspect

You should see him when he sneezes.

A Little Closer To Clarity - 20 - She's Got A Great Ass!...so does he.

2011-08-04T01:17:46Z

Quentin can't sleep so he decides to talk about various things, such as butts, and other things that aren't butts, possibly why he can't sleep, which doesn't have to do with butts....I think. It was confusing.

Do the pictures have to make sense?

73 - Jerking in and Other Addictions

2011-07-28T22:14:58Z

Chris and Quentin give their take on Amy Winehouse before winding down a conversational road of 90's sitcoms, Kristin Cavallari, sleeping, and drugs. Also, Quentin accidently says "jerking in" when he meant "jerking off" so that's kinda funny.

By Illustrated-Madness at Deviantart.com

A Little Closer To Clarity 19 - Complaining And Excuses

2011-07-26T00:47:50Z

Quentin Goes solo to make many excuses and complain about his life, but in an uplifting way...at least he thought so. There may or may not be one or two jokes in the episode as well. The person who finds them gets a t-shirt! (Not really)

Now that's a substitute teacher I wouldn't mind being molested by (the lady...not the boy)

72 - Butts and Buttholes and Butts

2011-07-21T21:01:57Z

Chris clears the air about last week's podcast before he and Quentin get into talk of Mila Kunis, Zach Braff, the moon, and TV shows everyone says you should watch.

The place where velcro comes from.

71 - The Cancellation of Hangin' With Mr. Cooper

2011-07-16T05:56:42Z

Chris reads a controversial listener comment that nearly brings the show to a hault before powering on like a true professional amateur podcaster. Also, strip clubs, Netflix rate hikes, and Michael Irvin.

Note: this is also the first episode recorded with all new audio equipment so it actually sounds decent.

Never forget.

70 - Casey Anthony and Gay Marriage

2011-07-15T00:41:21Z

Quentin and Chris are utterly outraged by the Casey Anthony verdict (although they are not sure why). Also, they ramble their way through talk of the gay marriage, Transformers 3, and ways they might propose to a woman.

69 - Sex and Pooh

2011-07-08T00:35:26Z

Quentin and Chris talk about a listener comment, tattoos, certain types of sex, Dairy Queen, Winnie the Pooh, and maybe a little about poo.

"This book of colored shapes is hilarious."

68 - No Love, Just Boobs

2011-07-07T00:17:45Z

Another lost episode, this time dealing with the timely topics of a now non-existent Wonder Woman TV show and that crazy Japan earthquake.

The only WONDER about her is why her
outfit's so ugly.

67 - Chris and Quentin Eat Snacks

2011-06-30T19:31:30Z

Chris and Quentin get together and talk about snacks (mainly of the fruit variety) in this out-of-date, "lost" episode that yet remains timeless. Also mentioned are Twilight, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Garfunkel and Oates.

Garfunkel and Oates in one of Quentin's dreams.

A Little Closer To Clarity - 18 - Chris the Sports Guy

2011-06-28T00:46:47Z

Chris and Quentin go little in this podcast discussing basketball, Hugh Hefner, and how alcohol can solve the world's hunger problems.

Proving love sees no age. It only sees money.

66 - "Enough about your c*ck," The listeners say

2011-06-26T20:02:13Z

Quentin talks about Kim Kardashian's ass, Ray J fucking the camera with his eyes, Cars 2, Gay marriage, The wonderment that is a vagina, and other things.

65 - God and Wieners

2011-06-17T06:18:21Z

Chris is back with Quentin to discuss some major stories of the past few months. This of course devolves into talk of penis sizes and then devolves further into a serious philosophical discussion on God and the universe.

Some people discussed in this podcast:

Anthony Weiner
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Richard Dawkins
The universe
Barack Obama
Sarah Palin
Rebecca Black

Evolution

64 - Tracy Morgan Loves Wieners

2011-06-13T04:37:36Z

Quentin talks about Tracy Morgan not wanting gay kids, and a bunch of other crap I wasn't paying attention to.

The rare blue lobster in its natural habitat

There Is Nothing Wrong With Liking A 16 Year Old....except for the fact that it's creepy

2011-06-08T21:14:13Z

Quentin goes solo to talk about being creepy, abortion, Emma Watson, and some other crap probably.

I wish there were two outlined human figures in that picture instead of just one

62 - Help Me Work Out These Scenarios Better, Kelline

2011-05-31T11:55:38Z

Quentin talks about Kelline's importance in the podcast's history, watching The Hill's being the low point of his life, Momorial Day Weekend, the horror of putting pickles in potato salad, that rapture dude asshole, that Chris Brown Asshole, The Hangover Two but not about how that guy was fucked in the Asshole (spoiler alert...although not really), and Bridesmaids, but not in that order (except exactly in that order).

EP 61 - The Art Of Not Talking About Porn

2011-05-23T20:53:15Z

Quentin may or may not talk about porn way too much, but also he mentions the lovely Emma Roberts, the lovely underused mermaid love story in the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie, the lovely tweets of the lovely people he follows, the lovely story behind how bogarting became a thing, and the lovely reason why he never overuses the word lovely.

The awkwardness in the smile is what I love most. That's said without irony.

EP 60 - Therapy With Saar Frackles (bad quality)

2011-05-22T00:51:38Z

Quentin goes solo to talk about how he found out Osama Bin Ladin was dead, a toilet paper crisis, and some other crap that eventually gets him to have some introspection on his ass.

Episode 59 - Speaking Of Gays: Tim Hardaway Sucks

2011-04-15T10:31:00Z

Quentin goes solo to discuss how April Fools Day is his least favorite day, Kobe Bryant's gay slur, The Verizon Guy being let go, Terrible Television Sitcoms of the past decade according to somebody, including the new Happy Endings, and many more things, which are all brilliantly (not really brilliantly) tied together by gay talk.

Kobe Bryant possibly pondering what it would be like to be gay for a day.

Episode 58 - Robots

2011-03-13T02:36:00Z

This episode has very little direction, which is just the way we like it. Nevertheless, topics such as the Grammy reporter's flub, girly wrestling, and of course robots get covered. Also find out what Chris has in common with gay funny man Scott Thompson (hint: it has to do with who they're both attracted to).

This is either RoboCop, Robotman, a cylon,
or Bionic Woman.

Episode 57 - In Need of Moisture

2011-02-19T05:54:00Z

After Dr. Funny Quentin updates us on his lip situation, Chris and Quentin get into topics involving the Super Bowl, homeless people, and Lindsay Lohan's latest arrest. Also pondered is proper shoe-taking-off etiquette.

And a special prize for those who listen close enough for the Bruce Vilanch reference.

I think this picture speaks for itself.

Episode 56 - Jesus Poop

2011-02-11T23:08:50Z

Chris and Quentin come back to find out why the proof is in the chocolate pudding. In other words, I am too lazy to come up with a useful and/or interesting description of this episode.

Clarity that is gotten closer to:

Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Batman casting news
Various celebrity starlets like Blake Lively.

A Little Closer To Clarity - Episode 17 - Chris's Lonely Episode

2011-01-26T14:03:00Z

Gasp! In this episode, Chris fills in for Quentin for the first time ever and tries his hand at a solo podcast. He talks about two of his latest problems and tells you why there hasn't been a new podcast lately. So sit back and have a listen to Chris attempt to talk to himself. It's half the hosts and twice the awkward transitions.

Just one of the many exciting things discussed in this episode.

Episode 55 - Leslie Nielsen, National Unfriend Day, and Food Sex

2010-12-15T20:53:00Z

Chris joins Quentin once again to cover news about baby names, National Unfriend Day, and a certain anti-child abuse campaign.

Good night sweet prince.

Closer To Clarity -episode 54- Your Vagina: use it or lose it

2010-12-07T21:19:00Z

while Chris is still on 'vacation' David and Quy join Quentin to talk about none other than vagina. Also cartoon pictures on Facebook and popular baby names are mentioned, but let's face, we're all here for the vagina talk.

I think Cookie Monster is grabbing her ass.

A Little Closer To Clarity -episode 16- Quentin Gets Called A Chick

2010-11-20T18:26:00Z

Quentin performs a little Closer To Clarity without Chris....wait, don't tune out yet, there's more...and he talks about possibly moving out, something else, another something else, and how his very hot friend Trishelle says hi to him online.

A partially eaten pink peanut butter and banana sandwich. Why? I have no idea.

Episode 53 - It's All Just One Big Sense

2010-11-17T15:39:00Z

For the first time ever, Chris and Quentin run out of things to talk about. Nevertheless, somehow Conan O'Brien, Vanilla Sky, Carebear sex, and much more get discussed. It's an episode that won't quit even if you want it to.

Conan with a monkey for some reason

Episode 52 - Teen Wolf Too and Other Classic Films

2010-11-09T21:33:00Z

Besides the normal ramblings from topic to topic, the focus of this episode is older movies and newer TV shows. Chris watched Pulp Fiction and kind of liked it. He also likes some quality gay bashing. Find out why and so much more in this episode.

Olberman

Alex Kunkle Thought for Thought

Entourage, Quentin's new show that
he watches.

Episode 51 - Quailman's Hot Right Now

2010-11-02T14:03:00Z

In this post-Halloween Halloween episode, hear about Quentin's Quailman costume and the spooktacular party he showed it off at. Also, find out what celebrity couple just broke up and what billionaire, black, female, daytime talk show host is starting a new network with no "bitches" allowed. Plus, Chris has a hoop dream, intern Nathan has a lumberjack dream, and Donald Glover is just plain dreamy. If only the 50th episode had been this good.

Finally a less self-centered use for Quentin's 'Q' shirt.

Episode 50 - Vampires, The View, and Charles Barkley (Whoever That is)

2010-10-20T04:58:00Z

It's episode fifty and that means a quick talk about the podcast. After that, Chris and Quentin get into their usual ramblings. This week's topics include new names for terrorists, names for the guys' kids, and Alicia Keys' sexuality. Also hear the two argue about Bill O'Reilly's controversial View appearance and find out Chris's hot new idea for vampire fiction

McGruff seen here with daughter and pet human.

Episode 49 - Unbrellas and Nonfutons

2010-10-13T01:41:00Z

Chris is back with Quentin to get clarity on more important issues.

The following things are discussed in this episode:
parties, Hermit Girl, Mark Zuckerberg's stupid IM's, unbrellas, cancer, gay marriage, Quentin's family, pooping, Star Wars, and penises.

The following things are not discussed: kumquats, Ben Savage, umbrellas, The guy who played Gunther on Friends, steamboats, and boobs.

Mark Zuckerberg as Jesse Eisenberg in The
Social Network

Episode 48 - What Does Saying Your Prayers Mean To You?

2010-09-25T13:39:00Z

Because Chris has a wonderful girlfriend, and Quentin is spending the weekend in Seattle with family, they were unable to get together this week and play scrabble...and also less importantly record a podcast. So unfortunately for you, the listener (not necessarily the reader because studies show that only 7% of those reading this will actually listen to the podcast), you'll get to suffer through Quentin talking with David and Quy boringly until things liven up when they discuss a couple of Chris's tweets, and then things immediately cool back down again for the rest of the show. But you'll get to find out why Quy prefers Lady Gaga to hotter naked chicks.

Episode 47 - Quentin and the Real Girl - Part 2 - Runs With Batteries

2010-09-17T09:39:00Z

It's part two of Quentin's journey to the bar. Find out if Quentin was successful with the girl he met and whether or not clarity was gotten closer to. Also in this ep: Indians, electric calendars, and something about an old, gay time traveler.

This Week In Bieber - Episode 6 - Fare Bieb Well

2010-09-16T05:54:00Z

On what could be the finale of This Week In Bieber, the guys discuss Justin Bieber's upcoming book Justin Bieber: First Step 2 Forever: My Story. Also hear their reactions to Bieber at the VMA's and other bits of Bieber news.

Bieber comic.

Bieber balloon.

If you're sad TWIB is ending but you just can't stop beliebin' then check out our non-ironic sister podcast Bieber Fever. And by "sister podcast" I mean long-lost sister who's completely unaware of the existence of her loser brother.

Bieb out, Bieple

A Little Closer To Clarity - Episode 14 - Koran Burning Guy

2010-09-14T10:20:00Z

The burning of Korans and the burning on Lohan's head are discussed. That's our poor attempt at tying in real news with entertainment news. Also, stay tuned for 9/11 talk. It will be easy since it's actually discussed at the beginning of the episode.

Original recipe Lindsay Lohan. Luckily the only
thing that made her attractive was her red hair.

Episode 46 - Quentin and the Real Girl - Part 1 - The Story So Bar

2010-09-12T19:08:00Z

This week it's all about Quentin's birthday and his adventure at a bar. He explains his long-awaited meeting with a girl he sweats and his long-awaited flirtation with girls from real life. Check back next week for part two of this humdinger of an episode.

Robert Pattinson was only mentioned in this podcast
but any excuse to post those smoldering eyes.

A Little Closer To Clarity - Episode 13 - HAPPY late MOTHERS DAY!

2010-09-07T17:18:00Z

To celebrate the day after Labor Day we're releasing one of the lost episodes where Chris and Quentin celebrate Mothers Day in what at the time Quentin said was, "one of Chris's top fifty performances on the podcast ever in which he wasn't high" (quote may not be accurate...like at all).

"This Movie ruined my childhood," Quentin.

Episode 45 - Sex With Miners

2010-09-06T19:56:00Z

Quentin relates his recent cuddling adventure before giving his opinion on girls with piercings. Then Chris and Quentin do the news and discuss those trapped miners, American Idol and Dancing With the Stars.

Dancing With The Hoff and 10 Other Less Important People

This Week In Bieber - Episode 5 - Bbbbbbaaaaaaaaaabbbbbbbbbyyyyyyyyy

2010-09-02T01:43:00Z

Chris joins Quentin for another exciting biebscussion about North America's pop sensation Justin Bieber. This week they cover the new Bieber hit that's sweeping the internet--"Baby" slowed down 800%! I guess Bieber sounds good at any speed. Also, find out what movie The Biebs wants to star in with Miley Cyrus.

Bieber and Miley.

Bieber a brat?

“BABY” 800% Slower.

A Little Closer To Clarity - Episode 12 - The Boob and Nipple Crisis

2010-09-01T14:07:00Z

Chris joins Quentin to talk about boobs and Elisabeth Hasselbeck but not Elisabeth Hasselbeck's boobs for some reason. It turns out she supports gay marriage. It also turns out boobs want to be shown in a non-pornographic manner for National Go Topless Day.

Women marching topless for national Masturbate to
Public Nudity Day.

Episode 44 - Spencer Pratt or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love My Penis Size

2010-08-29T16:15:00Z

Penises, Miss Universe, the Palins, Speidi, masturbation, Animal Farm, Jason Biggs, and penises are discussed. Plus, find out what Quentin thinks of Chris's first tweet.

A picture of Al Roker

This Week In Bieber - Episode 4 - Bieber and the Ladies

2010-08-26T01:43:00Z

This week it's all about the young ladies Bieber does or doesn't want. Get our take on Bieber's photoshoot with Kim Kardashian and find out what Bieber wants to do with Emma Watson. Plus, what unexpected being in the sky might be the key to Bieber's success?

The Biebs and Kard frolick in the sun.

A Little Closer To Clarity - Episode 11 - Eggs and Tweets and Dr. Laura

2010-08-23T15:31:00Z

A little news and a little Twitter. Quentin does his Tweets of the Seven Day Period segment and we find out what no man should masturbate with. Plus, stay tuned for Chris's shocking confession involving pee and pools.

Don't worry, there's no way your eggs have salmonella if they're
this cute.

Episode 43 - Gay News

2010-08-22T13:14:00Z

After talk of comedians, sex, and other podcasts, the guys discuss the gay news--both in the stereotypical sense and in the relating-to-homosexuals sense. Then the conversation somehow ends on Herman Melville and Shakespeare (maybe because they were gay).

Finally got my excuse to search
"gay" on Google image.

A Little Closer To Clarity - Episode 10 - Pie and Sex (But Not in That Order)

2010-08-17T10:10:00Z

After Chris says some extremely inappropriate things that he is deeply sorry about, Quentin and Chris delve into topics that include teen sex, sibling differences, and someone's moaning mother.

Clarity clarified:

Mosque.

Gibson.

Siblings.

Teen sex.

Crash (1996 film).

Episode 42 - Quentin's Wedding

2010-08-15T15:01:00Z

In light of the wedding Quentin recently attended, Quentin and Chris talk about getting married (not necessarily to each other). They ponder best men, food selections and the act of putting your balls on another person's face. Later, Emma Watson's new 'do is discussed and Quentin introduces a new segment: Top 5 Tweets of the 7 Day Period.

Watson hair.

Quentin twitter.

Chris twitter.

Closer To Clarity twitter.

Emma Watson as Peter Pan.

A lovely glass door with wood framing. Also, Gemma Atkinson.

This Week In Bieber - Episode 3 - Water Bottle Attack

2010-08-10T23:55:00Z

Find out what US president Barack Obama thinks of Justin Bieber and what object was thrown at Bieber in a concert (hint: it's in the title of this episode).

Obama on The View.

Bieber attacked.

A Little Closer To Clarity - Episode 9 - Chris's Big News

2010-08-06T01:53:00Z

Chris and Quentin talk immigration in Arizona, Taco Bell and great walls around the world. Plus Chris has a big announcement and more Amanda Bynes news.

Amanda Bynes during retirement era.

...Another picture of Amanda Bynes.

Oh God, why are you reading this? You should be looking at Amanda Bynes.

Episode 41 - Boring Talk About Boredom

2010-08-01T22:02:00Z

After a fascinating talk about nature and boredom, Chris and Quentin get to the news and read some listener comments about Mel Gibson and Batman. Plus Quentin reveals why his mom thinks his sister could be a lesbian.

Fat comedian Drew Carey as a non-fat comedian.

This Week In Bieber - Episode 2 - CSI: Bieber

2010-07-30T06:31:00Z

Bieber to be on CSI? Gomez to be in heels? You to listen to Chris and Quentin talk about a teenage popstar? These stories plus Giant Tom Cruise on the second episode of This Week in Bieber

Bieber enjoying a nice arm massage to prepare for his CSI role.

Selena Gomez with heels off, posing with normal-sized
Crayon.

Episode 40 - David, Quy and that Quentin guy discuss the 25 greatest animated movies

2010-07-28T18:18:00Z

A tired David and Quy join Quentin to discuss IGN.com's list of the 25 best animated movies of all time. Find out what movies they think were wrongly left off the list in an act more unjust then the recent Arizona immigration law. And find out what two must see Disney classics Quy hasn't seen. Also find out if David knows what an anti-semite is.

These dwarfs may look like they're praying, but they're really semi-circle jerking.

A Little Closer To Clarity - Episode 8 - Batman, Darth Vader and an Entrepreneurial Bum

2010-07-26T02:19:00Z

Batman, Darth Vader and an Entrepreneurial Bum.

Clarity that's clarified:

Fighter Jet Explosion

Homeless man

Darth Vader bank robber

Episode 39 - Penis Cake

2010-07-26T02:13:00Z

In this ep, Quentin compares the films Zombieland and Adventureland and explains his controversial opinion on which one is better. Later, Chris talks about the vasectomy celebration he attended and tells you whether or not a penis cake is a cake made of penises or a penis made of cake. All this plus Megan Fox, Sham poo, and something about a reverse goldfish.

Kristen Stewart realizing she's in Twilight.

Frodo's foot next to Quentin's shoe.

Closer To Clarity Presents: This Week In Bieber - Episode 1 - Don't Stop Beliebin'

2010-07-21T12:59:00Z

The good people at Closer To Clarity bring you This Week in Bieber. It's the new podcast that covers all the latest Justin Bieber news. This week, Chris becomes a true belieber while Quentin remains skeptical of The Biebnomonon. They talk about "Baby" getting huge and the possible Bieber beef with Jonas Brother Nick Jonas!

The Jostin Briebers

A Little Closer To Clarity - Episode 7 - Mel Gibson is a Meanie Head

2010-07-21T12:14:00Z

Get Chris and Quentin's take on the Mel Gibson debacle. No, not Lethal Weapon 3, but his racist rant.

Mel Gibson with beaver.

Episode 38 - Emmy Noms

2010-07-18T20:54:00Z

Chris likes Buffy! No, not the girl, the TV show. But he also likes his new girlfriend who is not a TV show. Chris and Quentin like other TV shows too so they discuss the recent Emmy nominations . If you don't care about TV then you might want to skip this one but download it anyway so you won't feel left out.

Mad Men's Christina Hendricks seen here with her boobs.

Episode 37 - Hot Russian Spy

2010-07-11T22:29:00Z

After a distraction by some girl in Quentin's dream, Chris and Quentin do the news and find out that spies are getting hotter, Supreme Court justices are still ugly, and Wonder Woman is as hot as she ever was.

Clarity that's clarified:

Russian spy case

New Spider-Man

Steve Carell quitting

New Wonder Woman design

Sexy spy sexily spying on our sexy statues New Wonder Woman

Kagan

A Little Closer To Clarity - Episode 6 - The 4th of July

2010-07-05T23:18:17Z

Quentin gets all American with Chris in this special 11th of July episode that is about the 4th of July for some reason.

Episode 36 - From Andy Rooney to Amanda Bynes

2010-07-05T23:02:00Z

Amanda Bynes quits acting? Justin Bieber has a Playboy mommy? TheMatrix sucks? Ghost Rape? These stories and Andy Rooney On today'spodcast.

Amanda Bynes

Closer To Clarity -ep35- Ben Interview With David as Co-Pilot and Natalie Paige Listening In

2010-07-02T00:20:00Z

In this podcast Quentin, along with David in a sidekick role, interview former homeless man Ben Black and discuss how nachos have transformed from a snack into a meal, how to make your mouth foam with Dr. Pepper, robbing houses, whether watching a chick do certain things on a webcam is cheating, and occasionally some interviewing of Ben is actually done.

(Not actual photo of Ben, although I guess the guy or cat in this photo could be named Ben.)

Closer To Clarity - Episode 34 - A Little More Than A Little Closer To Clarity - Episode 2 - The 6 Most Commonly Misused Words

2010-06-28T00:29:00Z

Chris and Quentin talk about the exciting world of words in this exciting podcast. Find out what words people misuse the most.